it's my birthday. 
it will probably suck.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Come Inside by The Sounds

hate?

Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Interpol

if its true, i'll miss you so much you don't understand..

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Jesse Malin-Queen Of The Underworld

dad is mad at me because I don't want to go to pennslyvania. its boring as fuck. and no good bands EVER play there bc they are poor.

getting a new laptop because my computer is on its last life.

went to get my dress altered today. its ready the 20th.

waiting for buffalo 66 & soldier's girl in the mail. should be here hopefully tomorrow.

yesterday i sent mike a message after two months time. haha. i'm a fool.

i look nice today.

out of high school. for good. prom= 6/22, graduation= 6/25.

fuck you all.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Ryan Adams-Blossom

i know its true.

my stomach ties in knots repeatedly.



and i feel so weak.







so complete.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Muse-Time Is Running Out

I'm miss world
Watch me break and watch me burn
No one is listening, my friend

I made my bed, i'll lie in it
I made my bed, i'll die in it

[/Hole\]

In study hall now. I want food. Sick of people. Murder is beautiful.

I have nothing left of anything. I am disintagraded. I am stripped. You can have it all. Take it all.

I'm the weak voice that you can ignore. Ignore=self destruction. Wonderful mutalation of the soul. The inner life that dies. Inner death that speaks out to me. Welcoming darkness. I WILL be taken care of. In loving arms. With affection, with hope, with love. I'll get that chance to shine brightly, to smile so wide it's blinding. I'll never feel that emptiness, I'll always be complete. You will NEVER have me again.

YOU will be complete.

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: Hole-Miss World

Don't know what to say here..kinda feel a little heart broken. No explanation.

I have been feeling like shit for about 2 days and I think it's cause i'm going to bed late and then waking up for school at 6:30.School today wasn't so bad..i'm getting used to just doing whatever and feel comfterable enough to not listen.Svolos' class is the only class you gotta be on guard 24/7. That man never shuts the fuck up lol.So, I got back from school,went online for a bit, walked and fed the mutt then in my clothes i just passed the fuck out on my bed. I wasn't sick but under the weather. I slept for about 2 hours and woke up at 8pm. I must have been extremely tired. While asleep I had the weirdest fucking dream too. I was getting like possessed and obducted by aliens in my sleep and I tried to tell crash but she wouldn't listen and all this other shit. It felt so real and it was so fucked up.I woke up and I felt better more or less. I wanted to go back to sleep but I just ended up not.Thank fucking god it's friday. I'm so sick of this school bullshit. It's a prison. A union of unpaid work forces. I just hope this hell is over soon..I don't know how much longer I can last..and I only had 4 days of school so far.GET ME OUT.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: River City Rebels-No Easy Way Out

Hey everyone. School starts tomorrow, isn't that nuts? OK, well not really but still. This summer didn't really "fly" for me but kind of melted away. I have a feeling the new school year will bring about some changes both good and bad. I have a "new look" well, it's not really that new, i did it before as a freshman only this time theres a slight twist. I thought it would be cool, something different to bring in the year with. Today i did nothing but loaf around, get my bag and school shit ready and looked over the map a bit. Yes, im in 11th grade and dont know where shit is. LAUGH IT UP haha. Most of my classes are on the first floor. I only have 3 on the second. That makes life easier. I have lunch with Marc so atleast i'm not alone! He could drive too but it would be even better with CRASH!!! She better switch some crap and have our lunch period. So i have Marine bio with Sherri,Doug and Crash<33 That's gunna rule. I also have Math with Crash. I don't know any other periords where i'm with someone but eh, i'm in atleast 2 classes where im not FRIENDS with anyone every year.Fuck it.

My schedule for the Fall:

Homeroom 11] room 112-Romano
1] Creative Writing-Turner
2] Marine Bio-Svolos
3] US History/Gov't R-Tallerine
4] Gym days 1,3 and 5
4] Study Hall days 2,4 and 6
5] Spanish G-Espinosa [oh great, another class from hell]
6] LUNCH
7] Math G-Kelly
8] Health-Fugazzi
9] English 11R-Skolnik

Have any of the same classes? Comment!

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Street Brats-Public Disease

I might go through another isolation period. I can't take crap anymore, i just can't. My dad approached me yesterday about getting a psyciatrist for me again, that he's still looking for one or somthing. I hope he get's one soon because I have the urges to just fucking kill someone...

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: The Unseen-Remains Unseen

Today..LOTS OF LAUGHS. Really, I could go rant all about what we did and what went on but I just wanna leave you with the two highlights of my night [and perhaps life LOL]:

- "You know what's rude? Having your bag take up a whole seat!"

-*grunt*....*turn head and grunt*

right Sherri?! I love that kid and want to marry her <33

So today, loads of laughs and expensive, temporary material happiness.


PS

Smartpunk better not have fucked my order up..fuck tards. Atleast the second order for my rcr cd went through. THANK GOD! but still, i gotta straighten out what happened to my fucking 130+ dollar order and make sure i get the items.

Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: Zao-Violet